Guns and Gun Control

Each time there is a gun massacre in the United States, debate is renewed about the wisdom of having so many arms available to nearly everyone.  The shooting in Tucson, Arizona has been no exception.  The liberals are calling for more controls, usually while deftly stating that they are gun owners (to establish their reputation as “solid gun-toting citizens of America”).  The conservatives, on the other hand, are leading the charge for more availability of guns and gun training as a way of preventing the bad guys from killing anyone.  They also believe that existing laws are more than adequate but aren’t being properly implemented. We should arrest more bad guys, jail them, and throw away the keys.

So let me establish my credentials on this issue.  First, I am a solid, blue-blood American who owns virtually every kind of armament that exists.  I have 27 handguns, including 17 semi-automatic Glocks, four Colts, 3 SIGs, two Brownings, and a selection of other reputable handguns that I keep loaded at all times.  I have 16 AK-47s that I have placed strategically in all the rooms of my house plus one in each car and an extra one by my beer cooler.  I keep a loaded shoulder-mounted rocket-propelled grenade launcher next to each of the 24 windows in my house.  I have 36 different kinds of bullets available including the ones that can pierce bullet-proof vests.  I keep a swivel machine gun on a mount in the attic just above the garage.  The headlights on my car double as automatic weapons that can be aimed and shot by adjusting my high beam indicator and turning on the windshield wipers.  Just in case I’m away from my regular weapons, I always carry a pen gun in my lapel pocket.  Nobody has ever tried to steal anything from me and I fully believe my armamentarium is serving as the best protection money can buy.

Liberals like to point out that some 1 million Americans have been shot in the last 10 years, including 300,000 who died.  They point out that more Americans were killed in the last 10 years from gun violence in the United States than were killed in the Vietnam War, both Iraq wars, and the Afghanistan War combined.  Worse, more than a thousand children are killed each year by guns. I won’t quibble with these weak liberal factoids.

Conservatives accurately point out that violent death rates have actually declined in the United States during the last decade and this is, no doubt, due to the proliferation of guns that people have to protect themselves.  In fact, sales of the Glock 9mm semi-automatic pistol that was used in Arizona last week have doubled as honest citizens seek to upgrade their protection to match that of the bad guys.  Owning a gun is a lot like being vaccinated: we just don’t know how many deaths are avoided because the bad guys have been scared away.

So what is my position on this great political and social issue?  Despite the best points made by both sides, I’m more worried about my taxes.  And frankly, all these shootings are costing a ton.  In fact, some experts estimate that gun violence costs some $100 billion/year in the United States.   These costs are primarily for medical care and hospitalizations.  But other costs, such as security and the penal system, contribute to the total.  Given the $14,034,595,976,762 dollar national debt we now have in the United States (at time of writing, according to the U.S. National Debt Clock), and that my share (and your share) is about $45,000 already, I don’t want all these shootings to raise my tax burden any higher.  So I propose that we select one of the following alternatives:

1. Stop providing medical care to gunshot victims.

2. Charge a “user fee” (tax) on each gun purchase that will cover the cost in full of all the gun violence each year.

3. Implement stricter gun control regulations.

Which would you choose?  We’ve just got to stop this deficit spending.

Gross National Happiness

 As the 2011 U.S. Congress begins to take shape, I have been feeling a bit disheartened to hear the words that communicate the new message of change:  The words "angry", "no compromises," and "less government" are foremost among the new communication. Now, these elected representatives will begin to debate against the backdrop of the murder of a Federal judge, and the near mortal injury of one of their own members by senseless gun violence.  "Yes, we can!" is definitely not popular.

Although nobody in Congress has asked for my opinion, I feel sufficiently worried about our leaders that I did some quick research.  I found that the King of Bhutan offered some words to his people that may be useful for our country and our new leaders. In his 2008 Coronation address, His Majesty King Khesar, The 5th Druk Gyalpo of Bhutan, inspired me with these words:

"...we must always remember that as our country, in these changing times finds immense new challenges and opportunities, whatever work we do, whatever goals we have - and no matter how these may change in this changing world - ultimately without peace, security and happiness we have nothing.  That is the essence of Gross National Happiness. Our most important goal is the peace and happiness of our people and the security and sovereignty of the nation."

King Khesar added, "As citizens of a spiritual land you treasure the qualities of a good human being - honesty, kindness, charity, integrity, unity, respect for our culture and traditions, love for our country and God.  Throughout our history our parents have upheld these values and placed the common good above the self.  My deepest concern is that as the world changes we may lose these fundamental values on which rest our character as a nation and people."

The King told his people that future generations will live in happiness and peace "as long as we continue to pursue the simple and timeless goals of being good human beings."

Perhaps these words from a country that is leaving the third world would be helpful to the leaders of a country that has been doing all it can to enter the third world.

Airport security: A Paradigm Shift

Airport security has been beefed up considerably since the “shoe bomber” in 2001 and the “underwear bomber” in 2009. Most recently, metal detectors have been replaced by full body x-ray machines.  Manual inspections are often required that extend to touching of the buttocks and genitalia.  Many Americans think that TSA has gone too far.  Serious charges are being made that in the name of security, the government has legalized sexual assault at our airports.  Reputable scientists worry that the small risk of cancer from repeated x-rays may exceed the risks from the terrorists from whom we are trying to protect ourselves.  A protest movement has started on-line and in the press.   Our Congressman and women, always at the forefront of change, are determining how best to take advantage of this new populist revolution.  Osama Bin Laden is laughing his head off in a cave somewhere, as America liberties are reduced in the name of freedom from terrorism.

America, we can do better.  Let’s put on our thinking caps.  We can use this security threat to completely overhaul our airport security systems.  We could put hard working Americans to work and make airport security fun.  Here’s what I propose:

(1) We hire qualified masseuses and masseurs to do airport security checks. They will be trained both to detect dangerous materials and to make passengers relax during physical inspections of intimate body parts.

(2)  We allow customers to choose during online check-in what type of masseuse or masseur he/she would prefer.  For example, many men would prefer that women conduct the physical inspections of their intimate body parts rather than someone who looks or acts like Attila the Hun.  Some women may prefer that men conduct the examinations.  Arrangements could be made for masseuses and masseurs based on sexual preference. Sweet grandmothers could be hired to inspect children.

(3) TSA staff, now mostly masseuses and masseurs, would be paid and promoted based on feedback from customers.  Evaluation forms would be available after each inspection. The best TSA staff would become famous with nicknames such as “Sensual Suzy” and “Erotic Eddy” replacing the insulting names now used such as “Senior TSA groper.”

(4) Over a short period of months, dangerous x-ray machines will be placed aside to allow more space for the much preferred personal physical examination by tender TSA agents.  The job satisfaction of TSA agents will soar.  On the economic side, Americans will want to fly again and tourists will flock to our country to experience America’s new security system. 

America is famous worldwide for unrestrained gratification.  Let’s use this quality to make the nation safer AND happier. Write to your Congressman or woman today and urge these changes to our airport security.

Increasing Inequality: We Must do More for Wealthy Americans

I read an article by Nicholas Kristoff recently that said that the wealthiest 1% of Americans earn nearly 24% of the income in the United States.  Mr. Kristoff compared the U.S. to the “banana republics” of South America, such as Venezuela, Nicaragua, and Guyana, where kleptocrats and others have ruined the economies.  He further states that from 1980 to 2005, more than 80% of the increase in American incomes went to the richest 1%.

This is deeply troubling.  How can America be a truly great country if our wealthy are being compared merely to the richest people in troubled South American countries?  Has our nation, the nation of the Carnegies, Rockefellers, and Vanderbilts, really fallen this far?

We must do more for the wealthy in our country.  The debate before Congress about extending the Bush era tax cuts for the wealthy is absurd.  We must do away completely with income taxes for the richest 1% of Americans immediately. But this is not enough.  I propose the following immediate steps:

·        1. Implement mandatory increases in CEO pay until it is at least 1000 times higher, on average, than that of the lowest paid workers.  Right now, the poor CEOs are getting only about 550 times more, a miserly rate of pay for the truly wealthy.

·        2. Eliminate all capital gains taxes for the wealthiest 1%.  These dedicated Americans are driving our economy and their wealth must be protected.

·        3. Eliminate permanently all inheritance taxes.

·        4. Initiate supplemental government payments to companies managed by the wealthiest Americans to increase the competitiveness of these businesses in the troubled global economic environment in which they operate.

·        5. Develop a few elite government-funded schools for wealthy children so they can get an early start on managing wealth.  It is not as easy as it looks.  One spoiled child can ruin a family empire.

·       6.  As a last resort, we should initiate welfare payments to our wealthiest Americans to be sure that they remain on top of the global wealth standings.

America’s great reputation is at risk if we don’t move quickly.  A failure to act will ensure that the richest people in China, India, and Mexico will earn more than our own wealthy.  We cannot stand idly by while our country is put to shame by others.

Another Corruption-free Election in the United States

Let’s give credit where credit is due.  The United States has just completed another election without any major hiccups.  Despite the disagreements we have, we executed this election without major charges of vote buying, threats, cheating by ballot counters, etc.  The voice of the American people has been heard and the government will have to become smaller, more efficient, with less taxes, and more benefits for all.  It’s a tall order, but this is why we send new Congressmen/women to Washington every two years.

As an American, I feel proud to know that one doesn’t see the name of our country associated with a corrupt electoral process.  Nobody was beaten bloody and only one woman had her head stepped on during campaign events.   This is a far cry from the problems in many countries where armed thugs inhibit the democratic process, ballots are stolen, and voters are paid off.

Certainly there are some pundits who will claim that allowing anonymous contributors to donate millions of dollars to elect candidates who will support their business and professional interests is not completely consistent with true democratic values.  Some decry the role of lobbyists who spend millions of dollars to help enact or inhibit legislation consistent with their beliefs and financial interests. Others criticize the role of the media for presenting opinion while labeling it news.  

These might be considered serious matters in some countries. But the United States knows well how to avoid charges of corruption associated with elections and the legislative process. We are a model for the world.

Through the good faith efforts of our Congress and the Supreme Court, we have developed an innovative process to address corruption in our elections and legislative processes - we have legalized it!  Surely, the world has much to learn from our democratic form of government. No, you won’t see the good name of the USA sullied about in mud.

Saving America: Reducing the Threat of Illegal Immigrants

Although the economy has been the number one issue in this 2010 election season, the problem of illegal immigrants has been lurking closely behind.  Many people say that these illegals are taking jobs away from Americans, thus contributing to our economic woes.  There is a gas station near my house where immigrants hang out and look for work.  On a couple of occasions, I hired people from this location to help with yard work that I couldn’t do on my own.  I didn’t ask if they were illegal or not, but I suspect that they were.  I’ve learned several clues to detecting illegal immigrants that I believe would be useful for screening purposes:

·        (1) Illegal immigrants are regularly willing to hang out at a gas station or other location beginning as early as 6:00 am, even in freezing weather with snow or ice on the ground, hoping to find work for a day.

·        (2)  Illegal immigrants work much harder than I do, and much harder than anyone else I’ve ever hired.  They will do back-breaking work without complaining.

·        (3) Illegal immigrants will do anything to make a buck, including nasty yard and house work, caring for our babies and the elderly, and work on chicken farms. 

 

·        (4)  Illegal immigrants will accept lower pay than any of their licensed and bonded competitors. (Some employers have been known to pay less than minimum wage, knowing that they can get away with it because the workers are illegal.)

Clearly, these attributes of illegal immigrants are dangerous and represent a threat to the American economy. If we want to simplify the process of weeding out those illegals representing the greatest threat to America, we should immediately take the following two steps:

1. Implement a screening test of immigrants based on the criteria above.

2. Any illegal immigrants found who are willing to work hard at jobs we don’t want to do, for next to nothing, should be deported as the first priority.

Only by deporting these dangerous, hard-working immigrants can we protect the American dream.

Reducing the Deficit: Raise Taxes on the Poor

I have been following with interest the current debate on letting the tax cuts expire.  President Obama has encouraged new legislation that would allow the tax cuts to continue for only the middle class while resuming the old higher tax rates for families making more than $250,000.   The Republicans and some Democrats in Congress would prefer to continue the lower tax rates for everyone, including the very wealthy.  They argue that we should not raise taxes during the severe economic downturn that the country is enduring.

The same conservatives also argue that the budget deficit is much too high and should be lowered immediately.  They propose that we cut national spending.  However, they do not want to cut defense, medicare, social security, or payments on the national debt.  Nor are they prepared to stop pork barrel spending in their own districts or states.  A reasonable person might get the sense that their position is an untenable one.

Don’t despair.  A practical solution is at hand.  We must increase taxes on the poor immediately to save the country from economic disaster.  I propose an immediate tax of 35% on welfare payments, food stamps, Section 8 subsidized housing, and Medicaid benefits.  My plan has several advantages:

1. There are far more poor people than very rich people, so that the tax increases will be spread among a larger number of people, thus avoiding penalizing the comparatively small number of rich people.

2. It is more equitable to raise tax rates on poor people to the same rate that rich people pay.  After all, they are receiving benefits funded by the taxes of the more well-to-do.

3. The lobbyists and interests groups for the poor are far less powerful than the lobbyists for the wealthy.  As a practical matter, it would be much easier to raise taxes on the poor than on the rich.

The economic health of our great nation is at stake.  Hopefully, the new Congress will quickly implement this practical solution to our economic woes.